UNBELIZEABLE VACATION DAY 3 :: MIAMI, FL :: The drive from Orlando to Miami was easy and took just a little over three hours, thanks to the Florida Turnpike (and perhaps the overly acute angle of my right foot against the gas pedal). It was well worth the $15 in tolls.

We stayed one night in the Nassau Suites, a nice boutique hotel on the National Register of Historic Places located within the famous Art Deco district of South Beach. We were in town to see Madonna in concert that night and our flight to Belize would depart from MIA the next day. Before the concert, we had time to soak in the SoBe vibe with a stroll along Ocean Drive, which was just a couple blocks from the hotel.

Ocean Drive is about a mile long and contains the world's largest concentration of Art Deco architecture, including restored structures and new construction. Their distinctive streamlined shapes face the Atlantic Ocean, obstructed only by palm trees across a white sand beach. At night, the pastel colors of the restaurants, hotels and nightclubs are magnified with bright neon. After dipping our toes in the ocean, Kristie and I had dinner on the sidewalk and enjoyed people watching.

One of the first things we observed is that there are a lot of openly gay men in South Beach. We definitely noticed more PDA between same-sex couples than between hetero couples. During our walk, we saw about forty shirtless guys hanging over the elevated porch rail of a bar, shouting and dancing and embracing and obviously having a great time. They were probably gearing up for the same Madonna concert we were going to.

The other interesting thing we noticed in South Beach is that the women are trying awefully hard to impress someone. Skimpy and tight outfits barely covering outrageously large breasts was the norm. Even the female mannequins we saw through the shop windows were all at least a triple-D.

So you've got this interesting dynamic of women overcompensating and competing to find the last straight guy in a mostly gay town. That's what we theorized anyways. I advise all of my single buddies to move to South Beach right away. The real estate is cheap too!

Thanks for the insite into what it's like in South Beach. I will be sure to keep my family far away from that section. Glad you had good sence to not post any of those obscene scenes.

Hi Michael,

Your new website looks like a great resource for PC builders!

Just a heads up: I'm not sure which scene you thought would be obscene, but you will probably want to censor the next post from your family as well. South Beach is nothing to Madonna's ensemble. If guys holding hands and hugging is obscene, you're not going to like the dirty dancing monks.

Things will be all safe again on the website a little later this week when we finally touch down in Belize.

Take care,
John

You have managed to transform one of the most decadant, overtly sexual beaches in the entire world into a G-rated experience.

baaaah.

As far as straight men go, I don't think there's a shortage - more that its just part of what happens when you put a huge city right on a huge sand beach. Men go shirtless and beefy, women skinny with work done.

Ha! Well, sorry to disappoint... If you're looking for smut, Google is a few keystrokes away.